 Listen to me you right wing, Bush-Loving SUV-Driving-Oil-Lover - Global warming is real and it's is going to kill us all if we don't do something soon. I want the earth to be usable for my twin boys - Orange & Apple.
My twin boys sometimes won't come out of the trailer because they don't want to add to our family's carbon footprint, such thoughtful boys they is. It usually takes a promise of a chocolate covered corn dogs from the local DQ to calm them down. Of course we take my modified Chevy - it now runs on corn shuckings and road kill - into town for some good family fun. Along the way the wife and I will point out to the boys all the ways our town could be helping momma earth.
One time the older boy, Orange, had a funny idea; "Stinky" hey says (his pet name for me is Stinky), "why don't we go over to old man Lampson's farm and hold some of the bottles we've collected up to the cows back side and collect the wasted methane?" At first we all just laughed but the more we got to a thinkin on it... "hell boy that might actually work..." So one night we all snuck over armed with an empty bottles..... well once poor little Apple got out of the hospital we decided "yup" bad idea.
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 That’s right you left wing, tree hugging pacifists, just like the byline says “4.5 billion years of existence – 100 years of data” ……. Disputed data! You self loathing, holier than thou, feel good pontificators need to wake up and GET A LIFE!
“Global Warming” your new politically correct, scare the hell out of the uniformed, make YOU feel good cause, is nothing more than humanity taking it’s course! Do you really think that you’re so significant that wearing Birkinstocks and driving a gutless hybrid will make the world a better place – WAKE UP and smell the carbon!!!
What you’re witnessing is man’s natural evolution and if you think a little man made carbon is going to destroy the planet you’ve got another thing coming! ( Heston’s monologue and give a listen, maybe it’ll open your eye’s to the enormity and resiliency of our glorious planet!) You wussy, sky is falling alarmists need a cause celeb to validate your existence, and unfortunately for the sane in this country Global Warming is it!
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